mannnda (:

Aug 31, 2009

the good, the bad.

later that night-
hello:) i've listened to el camino real for over ten times now & i can never ever get sick of it, ever. i love how grand it is & seriously, it makes me dream like im in some ballroom with my hair tied really complicatedly and dancing. it makes me SMILE! i love elcam! &thus, the heading of my blog, haha(: i feel de-emofied now, elcam cheered me up. &also talking to clara. she REVEALED SOMETHING. made me laugh like crazy! night!:D
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time stood still.
&&&&&& its an illusion :D, you know what i mean.

my mouth is retarded...D:
me, jaime, clara.

i like this picture^^

laura! :D

stefanie& hannah! :)

jaime again, heh heh :)

helllo! :) two weeks gone so quickly!

the good.
today was teacher's day celebration! :D was excited for performance, feng song! came to school at i think 0615. went to bandroom and quickly warmed up and tuned. after that, went up to council room (for checking of balloons & 0700 brief) & found no one there. i was tempted to go back to bandroom when i saw claudia approaching the council room. after awhile, ppl started coming & we started checking the balloons. & for some reason, when i was arranging the chairs on the stage alone for band, when i was checking the balloons from bottom view alone, when i was standing right there, i started to cry. i scolded myself for being so pathetic & quickly wiped my face. i didnt go for the 0700 brief as band was coming up on stage to take their seats already. & when i approached the stage & saw naixin, samantha, stacy, shangle & my seniors, i felt so much better, so much happier.
the school got their butts to hall & started chatting like hell. we had to wait for a super long time before the thing actually begun & we had to sit straight for super long time. with the two lights shining onto the stage and my back starting to hurt, i kept pespiring, my glasses kept sliding down! bleahhh! it begun. feng song was super nice! though i made some mistakes like rushing, it wasnt obvious &i didnt screw it.
titanic song! got to the front of the stage & SANNNG! our swaying was a bit weird, haha. but yayyy very fun! while going back on stage to get our instru., back row of titanic song burst a balloon hanging on the stage &the golden cloth thing came down! haha. :)whoops, there goes pubtion's work.
went back to bandroom, kept my clarinet & headed to canteen for duty. canteen duty is to babysit the performers before they go to hall. some useless duty. after the performers went up, me and joel went up to join the rest of functions backstage. &thats really all i can remember, for now.

i zao-ed after sweeping the floor in the hall and went to shps! saw zhenni and we headed to hall where we saw mr lauuuu! zhennis malay friend was also there and i felt so left out. and then i saw her name tag and it read:
JAIME CHOO
i was like shitzxczxzczxzcz! she was damn tanned and super tall. pretty lor jaime! she looked totally different okay! in a good way la:D after i think an hour, us 3 made our way to mac where laura was eating lunch with her friends. after eating, zhenni went home and me and jaime went staff room to see mr lau. bryan and shermon were there too. i didnt know shermon was so funny lor. ahah. stayed there for quite some time. bunny lunxiang, stefanie, hannah noreen laura also came. clara came eventually. took some pics. haha. saw shimin and jiaying in 293 when laura clara jaime and me headed to interchange. went to bugis & windowshopped, also, i realised jaime has great appetite! haha. let the pictures do the talking, & u can go to jaime's or clara's blog, lazy to post in full detaill... ._.

the bad.

why do i feel as if i dont fit in?
is it just me?
whats wrong with me?
why do i feel so left out?
i try to make conversation but they ignore me & talk to someone else?
i call their name but they do not hear?
what is this?
is this what its suppose to be like?
is it because my chinese sucks?
am i singled out cause i speak english?
or is it cause i cant make jokes and act stupid?
i thought they said we would bond the most.
why does it feel so... lonely?
so rejected from the society.

on that day, i was on the escalator going out of tanah merah mrt.
i was wearing my uniform, the sc one.
on the opposite side, i saw a group of seniors that belonged to choir.
i recognized that one of the guy(sec 4) belonged to sc.
he saw me and he suddenly said loudly, 'you'll regret it for the rest of your life!'

--
maybe i do.