mannnda (:

Jun 27, 2009

unspeakable tragedies

LATER
this is crazily cool.
its almost like a saxophone!
coooool!
(:
-

please please please please...):
XINJIE LET ME OFF ):
i really really dont like shangle..
really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really.
i dont like cookie monster
):

i feel so demoralized, pfft.
not funny la,
can go bully(or play) with some other junior..):
-.-

ahh whatever, dont really care liao ._.
guess what guess what!
a1 is super mean.
cause i didnt really know how to read the tennis score system &he called me a noob! and then i say he very mean, call his sister a noob, and then he changed and called me a
NOOBLET.

1. A young noob

2. People that are more immature than the average noobs.

3. An extreme noob

!!!
i dont care, i ask mummy scold him liao.
):

ahh, my restaurant city layout is screwwwwed.
i dont really like it, i dont know how to make it nice nice. bleahhhhh.

Jun 26, 2009

odor of fried sesame balls and sweet curried chicken

LATER
i decided to change my header...something's wrong with the fontt, and anyway i like it better like this :)
-

title is from joyluckclub. haha.
helllo!!! :D
i changed my skin(: my inspiration comes from leen, she's so cool :D i had a hard time doing the c is for clarinet header, cause i just couldnt get the codes and font right. pfffft.
anyway, yesterday was funnn! first, i went to kk to have my stitches removed (yup, i got injured, but thats all private& confidential -.-) but i was a bit fed up cause my brother woke up late &drove me there late & the doctor was already not there to examine my wounds. pamy was there too and while waiting for the doctor we were using kor's mac playing eyemaze and then after that we bought a box of nuggets from the kk mall.

after that, serene and mona helped me remove my stitches.
ROBOCOP! :D haha.
then, we headed to NTU cause kor &pamy needed to get their transcripts from san diego. then, kor toured me around the school & whenever he saw his friends they would ask me whether i was gonna join the school. ~~see i look 20!~~ 0_0 lol, i look mature, haha. and then he'll be like SHES ONLY 13!!! then we went to some room where they do all their cutting and effects of their flim &it was pretty awesome. and kor's junior was there &he was so coooooool! seriously, he had a fashion sense and his hair was all so coooool! haha, i wished i took a pic of his hairrr. he was having some troubles with his flim and so kor and pamy and me stayed to help and i was a young consultant. the flim is coooooooooool and and and and and i wanna watch the full thing. cause they were editing bits here and there of the flim so only got to watch parts of the flim.
i wanna go to NTU, in 6 years time :)
in NTU, people look cool with their hair all styled in a cool way.
lol.

we stayed until 6 something and then we left &kor drove pamy to angmokio. then we headed home where we dropped our bags at the dining room and headed to the outside supermarket there to grab dinner, mutta-bab! (haha, i dont know how spell...) :3

best fun night! ive never had so much fun in a long time.

homework!
chinese moodle
english phrases(just have to post them on ms n's blog)

yup, thats all.
byebye! :)

Jun 20, 2009

0_____0

0.0
!?!?!?
i feel like vomiting....
): look at THIS!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
!
lime green clarinet?!?!?!
oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
who would modify the clarinet colour until...
LIME GREENN!?!?

wait, in the first place, why modify it?!?
i feel so disgusted...
lime green, not really fond of the colour..
by the way, the clarinet is really lime green, as in its not photoshopped or anything.
o.o
bleah bleah bleah, vomit.
black is the one &onlyyyy!!
D:
lime-green clarinet?
bleah, who would have thought of it..
attention seeker (!)
!

disgusted.
:/

wait wait, i have moreeee!

0_0
looks so fakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke!
AHHH, >:(
im so against coloured instruments!
whats their problem...!
!

coloured trumpets!
!
ok la, it looks not too bad, but ew ok ewww
but i dont know what eunice and yy will say...
against against againstttt!

coloured keys.
not real, it was photoshopped.
better than coloured bodies,
its an ideaaa.
imagine,
fully teal-ed keys
kinda cool
multi coloured, not realllly.

ARGHHH! anyway back to my point
against against coloured instruments!
its almost like cruelty to animals kayy!
im serious, dont u know that the layers of paint used alter the sound of the clarinet/ other instruments!
!
ew man!
whoever thought of coloured instrments!
!
upset!
:/
by the way, i was bored and i was searching images for the clarinet on deviantart and google and i found these pics. yup. :/

Jun 18, 2009

NAIXIN IS BACK!

NAIXIN IS BACK
NAIXIN IS BACK
NAIXIN IS BACK~

my soulmatee! :3
yayyy!

too bad i cant go for band tomorrow ):
cannot see you ):
):

Jun 15, 2009

hellllllo! :D

today was my last time going to band for this week ):
i going away overseas tmr, sighhhhhh :/
but on a brighter note..
today had lunch with odelia! :D

she wanted to treat me... .__.
we went to eighteen chefs :)
at first very awkward... i first time eat lunch one on one with a senior..
but after a while it was ok! :)

was very full..
ate cheese baked rice
but very nice! ^^

i asked her for help for my heymath...
so then we went to eastpoint and found a bench to sit
and she helped me with so many questions! :o
a1 couldnt even help me..

after that we changed our spot and sat on the floor infront of sony ericsson shop..
but then security guard tell us cannot...
so we went into this corner and sit where no one could see! (:

we were trying to solve the last question i didnt know...q8!
wahhh we sat there on the floor just staring at the polygons and the table...
): in the end we couldnt solve it...
but i felt bad that odelia tried to help me very hard although it was my hw..
in the end we byebye each other and went home :D

homework i havent done
english phrases
one chinese compo
one chinese book review

lesser already! :)
i watching 900 show now
so byebye!
:)
oh ya i always say i want change my blogskin...but i so lazy make siah..
i also not used to using blogskins one already....>:(
will make after all my hw!
:)

Jun 13, 2009

:)
thank you people, im okay now :D
a1 came back from us on thursday...
he say its my hormones thats causing me to be so emo.
:/
a2 says maybe.
so it must be la, stupid hormones.

oh ya on wednesday night, had pubtions bbq :)
but xinjie couldnt make it...):
it was quite fun (:
there was a fat boobs man suntanning behing our pit.
i wanted to post the pic here but i always forget to upload the pic from my phone.

on thurs we had sectionals and and
i had my stomach cramps...):
pangsai cramps..bleahhh!
then huizhen accompanied me to church there go take hot water
and then okay already :)

after sectionals, we stayed back to pack scores. 0.0
so many okayy!
but before that, adrian, me, shangle and sam helped seniors buy their lunch from 85.
then ql talked to us for some time before we went into bandroom to help pack.
so fun packing scores ^^
crazy, but yes fun.
sam was so biantai she kept wanting to look at a neoprint some alumni(should be ba) pasted on a score.
and then she would laugh and laugh.
0.- crazy sam.

friday i ate lots of biscuits from the storeroom -.-
luckily weileng never see. (:
after band huiwen, adrian, eunice, yanyong and sam and me went 85 get bubbletea and fries.
then we parted and went home.

gonna meet huiwen soon at mrt
we are going to odelia's cell :)
luckily today i can go cause clarinet lesson was early.
speaking of which, ms leong says she might bring her boyfriend to house and make him
sit one corner and watch me play!
!
she say i must be more thickskinned and must not be scared/nervous/afraid.
must work under pressure.
=.=
i go now, bye!
:D

.
.
.
hey! :)
just now went cell with huiwen
and odelia was actually there! :o
she booked out from student camp...
at first a bit awkward didnt know anyone from the cell .__.

but then it was quite ok after wards cause theyre all nice people! :)
most of them are ahsppl or those that have already graduated.
very touching and i wanted to cry...:(
thank you god<3
i believe you sent me to cornerstone today for a reason :)
the sermon was 'why me' and the preacher was tiffany.

and it was mostly about suffering and not-to-be-emo.
thank you god! (:
i know You never intended for us to suffer and
everything happens for a reason.

God loves us for who we are and we can depend on Him.
i wont try to be stupid anymore,
i will try not to be emo,
i will try not to wallow in my selfpity.

i hope to be like You...the cell was so filled with..love for you and
i felt so pathetic..
how i wish i could be like them and be more closer to You.

thank you god :)

Jun 10, 2009

i dont know who am i

i opened my eyes in the morning and
i felt so pissed because
i didnt get sleep last night.

i ate my breakfast and
drank my apple juice.
i changed into my
pe attire and got ready to leave.

i reached school and
called yanyong and
asked them whether he reached school.

he said he had not reach school yet but
i saw eunice adrian and him walking up the
stairs of the canteen and
yanyong said they just arrived.

i walked beside them and
then yanyong told me to go away
because i am a sc and
they hated scs.

adrian ask me what happened to my
fringe and i said that i had always pinned it
up.
he told me that i should not keep doing that
because he wanted to see the obasan hair.

we sat on the lockers of a sec two classroom and
adrian said this was the first time he saw that
my socks were so high.
i said that this was my normal length and
asked if whether socks veryhigh or socks verylow really mattered at all.

yanyong called me an actguaikia sc and
said that it did matter.
i quivered.
i calmly walked to the toilet and i started crying.

is it so bad to be a sc.
is it so bad to follow school rules.
is it so bad to pin up my fringe?

i came out of the cubicle holding the
wet toilet paper i cleaned my face with and
i realised my eyes were blood red.

i stayed in the toilet for a while and
practised looking normal again.
i headed back to the lockers and hui wen had just
reached school.
she asked if i was crying as my eyes were still red
and i shook my head and sniffed
and said no.

drills started and
i was in the same group as
rachel, beatrice, adrian, huiwen.
i totally screwed drills up
and my leg was not 90 degrees at all
and i was the lagger.
huiee gave us break.

after break i still
continued to be a lagger and my leg was screwed
so yuping one on one me.
after a while it was ok though i felt stupid
and then my leg was still screwed
i felt pathetic
that i could not even do a simple thing correct.

my eyes felt hot and suddenly a tear just rolled down and
i sniffed.
yuping asked me whether i was unwell and i shook my head.
but she gave me 3 min break and
said to me to rejoin the rest after break.

i walked to the toilet and i burst.

why cant i do something so simple, so right?
why cant i do something so simple so right?
is it so bad to be a sc.
is it so bad to follow school rules.
is it so bad to pin up my fringe?
why cant i do anything right?

my eyes became red again and
i practised my smiling and
thought that everything was going to be alright.
i practised being happy again before exiting the toilet.

i went back and
found out the beatrice felt like vomiting and
huiwen had an asthma attack and
so they were resting on the bench.

after a few mins,
we asked gerald for permission to rejoin group.
he said ok and we did drills
and i tried not to screw up.

after all the drills, hell subsided and
band was dismissed.
it was okay for awhile and
i had cranberry
so i set her up and started playing.

everyone was waiting for ql to open store room.
eunice asked me if she could play my clarinet and
because it was a new clarinet and i didnt want her to
break another one of my reed (again, esp cause the reed i was using
was the one yy and her gave me) i said no.

yanyong said
she sure say no cause
amanda is so selfish.

i wondered to myself whether i did anything wrong
was it wrong to protect my clarinet and
i was pissed because yanyong always
insulted me.

i got so worked up i said
is it wrong to protect my clarinet?
i said it so pissed-ly that everyone (jolene, huiwen, adrian, valerie, samantha, eunice)
kept quiet.
i got up and said that
i wanted to go home
and i went to the other side of the pillar to
disassemble my clarinet.

i dont know why i am such a sissy idiot that
i started the water works again
and started sniffing.
again.

huiwen and eunice told me to stop crying
and i burst again.
'i dont know why i am ugly, you think i want to be?'
'is being an sc so bad?'
'am i really an actguaikia?'
'i hate this school.'
'i just want to get a transfer to sota.'
'i dont know where to go now.'
'i dont want to go home.'

and then huiwen told me to stop being so pesermistic
and look to the brighter side.

as i stared down onto the uneven grass
and the drain i wondered whether
i would die or just break my leg
if i actually jumped.

tears couldnt stop flowing and
they dotted my black concert file and
clarinet box i put my elbows on.

then i told them about what adrian chong said and
adrian ang reacted.
why cant i find any good friends
that dont actually betray me
or insult me?

after the long didnt-really-work talk from huiwen
and a little god-talk from eunice,
i still decided to go home anyway
though ql already opened the storeroom.

eunice decided to walk me home and she
gave me a lollipop.
it was then that
i realised she liked birds
and picking flowers and
pulling ppl's hair.

that walk with her was comforting
and then i reached home and i bade her goodbye.

upon reaching home, i
closed my room door and
turned on the air con and
sat on the floor and put my head against the
door and i dont know why
i cried again.

i kept thinking in my mind why
god wasnt there for me
and why couldnt he help me with anything
or even grant my prayers.

mummy came in again and
she asked whether i was sick
an she felt my forehead and
then asked me
whether i had been crying.

i shook my head again and
sniffed.
she asked whether i got the flu
and i said idont know.
she passed me a cup of bali water
and left my room.
i started tearing and
i turned on my phone music.
i sat there with the lollipop slowly melting in my mouth.
eventually i did drink the bali water
and i told mummy that i wanted to stay at home
when daddy and her went out for lunch.

she told me to eat the peanut rolls (or thats what i think its called) that
she bought yesterday.

and now both of them have gone out to eat and
i am currently listening to
i am the walrus.

--
god where are you?
why cant i feel you?
why cant i look like one of those pretty mean girls but still do everything right without people saying i am an actguaikia sc?
why dont people understand.

--
i still wonder what would have happened if i really jumped down from outside the band store room.
would i land on the grass or crack my head on the drain?
if i had really done that,
would they finally understand?
--

dear god,
i love you dearly,
but sometimes...
i cant feel you.
its almost like you're no longer close to me...
--

help
why do i feel so depressed for the past few months?
--

its almost like you're no longer close to me...
--

would they finally understand?

Jun 7, 2009

out with the old, in with the new

out with the old, in with the new.

i will always remember you, allegra!
even though you've parted me, i will always think of you when im lonely and sad.
i love you for sentimental reasons.
:D
hahahaha, but i love the new cranberry (:
maybe i'll give you a new name.
you're so shiny...(:
on the way out of band world, i hugged the big new clarinet box and i cried a bit.
my first true clarinet.
i shall treat you well (:
thank you ms leong :D
you're the bestest music teacher i could ever get.
i cant wait to play you.
): you're so nicee.

--
shop owner ask me what school i came from.
i said ahs.
haha, then she was talking about to boys from the ahband that came to their shop and wanted to buy loads of stuff (like oil, grease, cloth for ahband) and they only had 300$. but all the items totalled up to 500$, and then the two poor boys needed to leave out some items and fork out every cent they had. eventually they needed to pay 308$ and they only got 300$ and the shop owner (seeing that they so poor thing hahahaha) decided to say discount off 8$.

ahhahahahahahahaha, rex and gerald.
they even scolded the ppl who didnt donate money to them to buy items. because they said eventually, all the things they buy is for our instruments. ^^
and then the shop owner sooo cute lor. she say what the principal only care for sports and never fund for band.
hehe.
and my mother was there, but she didnt say anything.
^^

and..
jiayou odeliaaaaa! :)
i hope you can get into tjc..
cause i know you play your clarinet very pro :D

byebye!
will remeber you allegraaaa! <3

Jun 2, 2009

booored :/

weee~ pink taxi, so prettty :D
i dont know what other pictures to upload.. =.=

current homwork not yet done:

heymath
chinese book reviews
chinese compo
science project
eng

yup :]
yesterday was karyee's birthday day!
happy belated birthday!!!
lol, lame.

wooooooooo, im excited for sunday!

borreeeddd.
and lazy ):
imagine me, plonking my butt infront of the computer, eating cereal with one hand and typing. and spilling little flakes everywhere. ~~sigh, just dont tell mummy. butbutbut, i got pick up! :)~~
:D

kor just called, and said he would buy me macdonalds since he no lesson!!!
:D woo, no more cereal!
even though cereal tastes nice.
byebye, i havent even showered.
im becoming like a1.
:D