mannnda (:

May 21, 2009

death.

this was what i wanted to post on the 18th.
but i didnt get a chance to because mummy kept the internet wire.

i feel so comforted that amanda is in this class now.

haha, why?

because she has ___ _____ than me.

i didnt know how to react.

i dashed to the toilet.

he said it right infront of mr.

and MY GOOD FRIEND.

'haha, i will tell her later.'

i was stunned.

and then.

'aiya, very mean leh.'

he said it right infront of me.
he said it right infront of me.
do i appear deaf.
do i appear deaf.
do i appear dear.
do i appear deaf.

i want to die.
i wish i could kill myself.

i want to be strong.
i dont want to care.

but i dont know why im crying.
im still a girl.
i feel like ripping myself into pieces.
why do i feel feverish.
why do i feel sad.

--

:/
im still unhappy about the incident, although two days have passed, i just cant get read of it. im a humiliating sight.
unhappy.
sigh.
no one really knows the anguish.

i wish to be left alone.
i wish not to be bullied.
i wish i was happier.

and that i wouldnt always have to smile without feeling anything.

--

today had sectionals and i got the late notice from cornelia. =.= i didnt bring my clarinet to school, so i had to run back home after school to get it. sectionals was so sad, cause shangle had tuition and naixin was overseas and i was left with stacy and samantha. not that i dont like them, im just not close to them. :/
felt so empty.
i suck at my clarinet playing.
suck suck suck.

i cant hold notes long enough.
i have too much saliva.
my tone is not round enough.
i suck at playing.
suck suck suck.

--