mannnda (:

Oct 27, 2007

feeling terrible.
how come i feel so terribly happy and suddenly i feel all sad and terrible??
didnt know what to do.
so i practiced clarinet.
even when two fans were on, i was sweating like crazy.
later watched a old show. the wicked lady.
talking to jie.
i dunno what to do.
don't know.

Oct 26, 2007

exams are just next week.
im FREAKING OUT.
AHHH.
today was super fun and i cant believe even p6-ers say i like jeremy when i dont. in the first place, how they even know?? rumours. gossip. sometimes. just so. argh. it feels pretty weird...im trying my best just to try to relax and concentrate on sa2, but its soo hard...why cant sam gang just disappear in thin air? i just don't ever want to see them again. cause seeing them makes me feel like...very.
angry. don't know why. after school, in the school bus. pamela and me sit beside each other then i ask her some questions.
me: why everyone hear the name jeremy yong all so scared one?
pamela: not scared lah..hmm, he's just...weird.
me: *silent*
pamela: you know ahh..now three people like noreen.
me: oh... i heard jeremy likes noreen.
pamela: the three people is jeremy, shermon and justin woo.
me: *silent* (frowns a little)
me: cheyy...i knew it.
im not hurt or sad about jeremy liking noreen or anything, i mean, just...hearing pamela saying that just feels very weird. very.
after that we talked about our weird dreams and i said i dreamt of nick and jere then just before daniel got off the bus to get to his house pamela go say 'hey daniel. you and nicholas same class right?' he replied 'yes nicholas yeo and jeremy yong same class as me' (he purposely go say jere name to irritate me) then pamela go tell him i dreamt of nick and jere. oh thanks alot big mouth pam. -.-" it was very fun talking to her, than later reached my house then say byebye liao. at home, after eating and doing the daily stuff, pratice clarinet. had to put a reed paper over my bottom front teeth to keep my lower gum from hurting. it still hurts. ow. ow. ow.

Oct 25, 2007

very bored. thats why i decided to post just before clarinet. today was reflecting day for me.
because yesterday everything was messy, i was moody and i had gone paranoid. i said the f word to a lamp. that was all yesterday. but after reflecting, i realise that love isnt all that is sooo important now. i mean, COMEON i have many more years ahead of me, all i have to do now is concentrate on my sa2 and studies. i feel so great you know i actually feel wiser. praise the lord ok!! he woke me up from all of this. i tried telling JECLAZ that i not in love anymore all those shit but i dunno why i go say something very stupid. argh! im just someone who cant face reality...oh well..omg i cant believe i got an A for hiphop when all i did was weakly move my arms to the right, to the left. hahahahaha...hey can't you tell im actually jollier? like most of the time i write moody and sad stuff but now im so happy ok! (: i love my life! i hope it stays like this forever and ever. (:(:

oh..i changed my profile. to a huge chunk of butter. wrote alot, couldnt stop myself. oh well.

later..
yay! clarinet lesson was sooo fun. starting to learn a full music piece called Andante Cantabile, its soo jolly but in the story it becomes sad and sorrowfully. Andante means at a walking speed and Cantabile means in a singing style. so nice to play. but have to practice to make it sound perfect. (: yup. going to watch nine o clock show now. byebye.

Oct 24, 2007

happy birthday a3.
sigh.
life for me now is horrible.
so horrible.

many people say that love is a game. well, it's true it's a game. but it's whether people actually wanna play the game with you. that's just the problem you know. you can't force anyone to play it with you, or else it would be not good. not good at all. if you really loved a person, would you force yourself not to like him or her anymore if that person says he or she doesn't like you? would you?
i would.
i already did.
and it.
hurts.

watched the movie Awakening. robbi williams and robert de niro.
touching. worth your while.
its also a book.
one of the famous sayings from the book is.
Death- the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening.

its actually a true story.
its good.

Oct 20, 2007

i miss school.
no surprise here anyway.
i just need to pass tomorrow and i get to see pals again. D:
i realised Aguas De Marco is the song i've always been looking for. except i've been looking for the english version. finally got the english title. WATERS OF MARCH (: i've been trying to find the english title since i heard it on like one of the cds jie has. i think (: anyways i got it!
omgosh. why the hell is it soo long?

later..
power trip. had a blackout. kor went to buy hokkien mee. was alone.
and now..
kor's mad. his air con can't work. he trys all the air con controls. all of them can control every room's air con except for his. he calls our dad. our dad thinks his bonkus. he tries to make his point. he tells me to take my room the air con control. i point it at my air con and the air con ons. i point it at kor's and it doesnt. i point kor's control to my room the aircon. it ons. he tells me to stay put. he grabs my mother's room air con control. he passes it to me. i have three air con controls on hand. i point it at all the aircons, all the aircons turn on except for kor's. i off all the aircons. 'YES I GET IT KOR. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.' he smiles.
he had made his point.

A stick, a stone,
It's the end of the road,
It's the rest of a stump,
It's a little alone

It's a sliver of glass,
It is life, it's the sun,
It is night, it is death,
It's a trap, it's a gun

The oak when it blooms,
A fox in the brush,
A knot in the wood,
The song of a thrush

The wood of the wind,
A cliff, a fall,
A scratch, a lump,
It is nothing at all

It's the wind blowing free,
It's the end of the slope,
It's a beam, it's a void,
It's a hunch, it's a hope

And the river bank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of the strain,
The joy in your heart

The foot, the ground,
The flesh and the bone,
The beat of the road,
A slingshot's stone

A fish, a flash,
A silvery glow,
A fight, a bet,
The range of a bow

The bed of the well,
The end of the line,
The dismay in the face,
It's a loss, it's a find

A spear, a spike,
A point, a nail,
A drip, a drop,
The end of the tale

A truckload of bricks
in the soft morning light,
The shot of a gun
in the dead of the night

A mile, a must,
A thrust, a bump,
It's a girl, it's a rhyme,
It's a cold, it's the mumps

The plan of the house,
The body in bed,
And the car that got stuck,
It's the mud, it's the mud

Afloat, adrift,
A flight, a wing,
A hawk, a quail,
The promise of spring

And the riverbank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the promise of life
It's the joy in your heart

A stick, a stone,
It's the end of the road
It's the rest of a stump,
It's a little alone

A snake, a stick,
It is John, it is Joe,
It's a thorn in your hand
and a cut in your toe

A point, a grain,
A bee, a bite,
A blink, a buzzard,
A sudden stroke of night

A pin, a needle,
A sting, a pain,
A snail, a riddle,
A wasp, a stain

A pass in the mountains,
A horse and a mule,
In the distance the shelves
rode three shadows of blue

And the riverbank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the promise of life
in your heart, in your heart

A stick, a stone,
The end of the road,
The rest of a stump,
A lonesome road

A sliver of glass,
A life, the sun,
A knife, a death,
The end of the run

And the riverbank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of all strain,
It's the joy in your heart.

Oct 19, 2007

one thing you have to do before u go surgery is too..
remove your nail polish.
a lady was going to surgery, and when she heard she had to remove the polish, she said to the nurse.
'i just painted them yesterday! Must i really?'
the nurse smiled. and said. 'no need. no need!'
the lady smiled.
hahaha. forced clara to play runescape. muahaha. its really fun, except can get really addicting at times. (: haiz.

im in love with the song I Ain't Got Nobody/ Just A Gigolo by Louis Prima. it's reallly nice to hear.

i ain't got noboDDDY!
nobody.
cares.
for.
me.
iiiiIIIII'm!
soooo sad and...
looonnnnEEELLLLLY!

later..
cant be addicted to runescape! it will be bad.
very bad.
anyway wanna eat the lovely durian ice cream and watch nine o clock show with kindo bueno man! :3

Oct 17, 2007

colour pleasing much?
i hope so.
gahhh...i have to stop feeling soo lazy and actually study. i feel much more better than yesterday, but still both my ears are block and i cant hear a single thing. i only can hear muffed sounds. oh well. i haven't had flu for ages. -.-" how i wish there wasnt a thing known as PSLE marking break. so then i wont be stuck at home doing nothing but slacking. oh righht! im going to make the tortilla cheese wrapped hot dogs! im gonna go prepare for that first..

the tortilla cheese wrapped hotdogs were filling, and my mother brought food home for me, and now. i can't eat. suddenly very curious about dreams. i've been dreaming lately. hmm.

Dream is a word used to describe the subconscious experience of a sequence of images, sounds, ideas, emotions, or other sensations usually during sleep, especially REM sleep.

The events of dreams are often impossible, or unlikely to occur, in physical reality: they are also outside the control of the dreamer. The exception to this is known as lucid dreaming, in which dreamers realize that they are dreaming, and are sometimes capable of changing their dream environment and controlling various aspects of the dream. The dream environment is often much more realistic in a lucid dream, and the senses heightened.

There is no universally agreed-upon biological definition of dreaming. General observation shows that dreams are strongly associated with REM sleep. REM sleep is the state of sleep in which brain activity is most like wakefulness, which is why many researchers believe this is when dreams are strongest, although it could also mean that this is a state from which dreams are most easily remembered. During a typical lifespan, a human spends a total of about six years dreaming (which is about 2 hours each night). It is unknown where in the brain dreams originate — if there is such a single location — or why dreams occur at all.

-found this in wikipedia.

oh i remembered something. yesterday when i played runescape, nicholas and yiai were on too. and guess what. nicholas is level FOUR. HAHAHHA..noob! and then he called me a lamer. whatever! at least i know im wayyy better than u in personality, characteristic, runescape and everything! and then he said, 'let me log in in my old account.' then when he logged in in his old acc, his old acc is lvl 66. and then, i knew he was lying. it wasnt his old acc. if it was, how come he needed to make a new lvl 4 noob? then after that he say he'll let his friend play. then like his friend logged in into the lvl 66 one. the friend= nicholas's neighbour. yeah, i talk to him a while then suddenly he said that the lvl 66 account was his account and nicholas's go and use it then lie saying is his acc. bingo. i knew it. nicholas yeo- a lier and a act-cool person. nicholas yeo- the trying-to-impress-you guy and the idiot. oh man now that i think about it. nicholas yeo.
is a WAYYY idiotic GUY!

Oct 16, 2007

nothing much to do..
on the com and at home.
that's why i made a skin. a WEIRD skin. back to the basics skin. then actually on the left hand side of the skin empty empty black black thats why i looked up tomato soup ingredients and omelette ingredients..and put it on that empty space! totally new idea. sigh...can't wait to go back to taiwan..i get to:
drink papaya milk (:
drink ai yu (:
drink bubble tea (:
go to 101
go to page one (:
visit TES (maybe)
go shopping! (:
go shilin! (:
VISIT SARAH!!!!! (:(:
eat waffles! (:
go eslite! (:
eat the salty fries at mac donald..-.-"
breathe in the polluted air like nobody's business! -.-"
watch the lame channels on tv! (:

weelll, the channels there arent entirely lame, i mean, just different. but still entertainment. hehehe... yesterday went to orchard to shop shop shoppp! like shop till ya drop. and i regret wearing those 'lady slippers' cause there was alot of walking and i ended up having three blisters. ow. oh and i got this dress-shirt thing which is green with black stripes and it looks weird on me and i have no idea why i bought it. x_x i think when i adult can wear? MAYBE NOT. because the size now is XS then next time adult become XL HOW.
HOW.
ok. overreacting. maybe a2 can wear. i dunno. but jie..
go on a diet.
so then u can fit into the dress- shirt thing! (:(: JUST KIDDING.
yea, just kidding.
oh and i will be changing the ingredients maybe when im bored or smth. maybe in one month's time? dunno la.

later..
sick. gone down with flu..started to play runescape again. how weird is that? dont feel like studying. major headache. currently watching david copperfield with my mum on the telly. david copperfield just slid a saw through a lady's head. ok. good.
good.
i realised that if parents force their children to study, their grades would probably be low. but, if the child's heart is willing to study and parents dont force them, their grades are probably going to be higher. and if parents ban children from using the com during exam period, then grades would also be like ok but not high high in the sky. but if parents let their children use the computer during exam period, and the child's heart is willing to study and revises, then probably the grades would be higher. im not just saying this so i can use the com during exam period, but i think its true. or maybe im talking gibberish. maybe.
oh i found out nicholas is a total lier who trys to impress people too much. (: he's a total act cool person and if any woman actually marries him, i say
that the woman.
is.
really.
BLIND.
but they say love is blind, which is very true.
but that woman has got to be very blind.

my brain is soo unstable. i dont have fever, just that the headache is affecting what i say. like
i feel like making ice kachang tomorrow- (when i dont even have chendol, or agar jelly and all the other ingredients.)
actually saying that is ok, i also said this:
when i grow up, i wanna be a mama who is a suupppperrrr cook! *waves arms*
which is bad. especially saying that infront of my mother. she laugh and laugh and laugh. but actually, when i grow up i really want to know how to cook. i mean, what kind of lady doesnt know how to cook right? what kind of lady eats microwaved pizza everyday right? yea..
tomorrow i making cheddar tortilla wrapped hot dogs by myself for lunch (: not because i saw the recipe on a web, but then also cannot keep eating unhealthy things..
ok fine, maybe cause i saw it on the web.
even though i dont have all the ingredients, i can create something like a cheddar tortilla wrapped hot dog. using the multi grained bread my mother always buys, using the stupid pale yellow cheese i hate, using the mushroom cheese sausages and using the toaster oven. (: so then the cheese would melt all over the sausage then i can stick a toothpick through the bread and sausage so it wont fall all over the place. well, easier said than done. lets see how it goes tomorrow. nine o clock show in 30 minutes. gotta go.

Oct 15, 2007

It's on the lips of the heartbroken and downtrodden, it's in the poetry of the cheated-on and the abandoned and it's in the hearts of the abused an trampled, those four little words, "Love is a lie!"

But love is not a lie, nor is it a trap to make you weep or a game played by fools and other over-emotional buffoons. Love is as real as the air we breathe, the earth we walk on and the water we drink. It's there, always lurking, often hiding but always around and waiting to strike.

The lie of love isn't that it doesn't exist but rather the fairy tale the world has made it out to be. Every story that ends in "happily ever after" has had but one moral, that all you need is love and if you have that, everything in the world will be perfect.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

While love is important and a beautiful thing, it is just one of many factors in determining how happy one truly is. There are millions of people who are passionately enthralled in perfect love, but are still completely miserable. At the same time, there are just as many people who have never even approached the idea of love, but are leading happy and content lives.

Love is no key to happiness, nor is it the grand answer or mighty pinnacle of existence. It's just another factor and like having lots of money, a great job or unimaginable success, it does nothing to guarantee happiness. If the cliché "money can't by happiness" is to be believed, so must the mantra of "love doesn't guarantee joy."

But that doesn't change the fact that from the day we're born until the day we die, we're told what love and happiness means. Every romance story in print and on the screen bombards us with images that make it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that with love, happiness ensues and without it, there's nothing but misery and bitterness.

The truth is bitter, this I know, but this lie cannot be tolerated any longer. It has done more to drive the masses to the brink of insanity than anything. With so many running around in a misguided quest for love, seeing it as some holy grail of happiness, they're only set up for more pain, more anguish and many walk away with the words "love is a lie" streaming from their lips.

Let the truth be known from this day forth that yes, love is great, love is beautiful and love is wonderful, but real happiness comes from within and love is no magic cure for all the ailments of the heart. Happiness, like the other mysteries of life, is little more than a jigsaw puzzle that must be assembled within each of us. There are no easy answers, quick fixes or cheap tricks to get us to the end goal and each of us must look for the real answers, not in the lie of love, but within ourselves, our actions and our goals.

Take it from me dear reader, take it from me all, the key to the future, your future, is in your hands and no one can unlock it for you. Love is not a key to unlock an enchanted door, but a tool to build your own happiness and your own better existence.

Because if there's one thing I've learned during my time on this planet, it's that none of life's mysteries are easy and the minute you rely on someone or something else to provide the answers for you, you've taken the first step to leading yourself astray and possibly to your own destruction.

A destruction that eats you literally from the inside out..

-Raven's Rants

later..
dang it! i realised a1 posted this lie of love before...sorry a1.

Oct 13, 2007

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

i will survive- gloria gaynor.
so true. i can survive.
i will.

Oct 11, 2007

i'll take this chance to update...
just this once.
had compo exam today- surprisingly easy- hard work paid off! (: yesterday had oral examination and english rocked and i heard that chinese i got above 40 (: yays. i hope teacher not lying or anything. listening was fab even CHINESE. WOOHOOO right! oh yeah..listening for english and for chinese both same marks. rigghhhtt. well, nothing exciting happened recently or anything. sigh. why must dad and my brother keep quarreling? NO PEACE. everytime also like that. how i wish i had a kinder set of parents. but we cant choose our parents right?
anyway i have to go down to open the front door for my brother. cause when i came back from school i saw him dashing out my house gate frustrated and crying. how i wish i could have some PEACE. he didnt bring his house keys soo...yeah. actually i wanted to make him feel better by following him to the park but my mother said NO. oh well.
it seems that a3 brought his house keys along. ok. oh yea now i have OFFICIALLY have NOTHING to do with the very idiotic NICHOLAS YEO and SAM GANG. I FEEL DAMN GREAT! woohooo. because right i go smsed nick say from this sms fourth, u are no longer part of my life. f***er nick byebye! ok i didnt mean to swear at him but he's really an idiot. and jie dont get all angry at me ): if u were p5 and met nicholas, u too would swear at him :) everything is looking up for me and JACLEZ is great. our friendship has become stronger over the past few months. i love you guys! >< this is the last post for now maybe next week will post again not sure cause next week whole week holiday (: more like exam revision week. until then..
byebye...(:
oh and i actually found out that shermon isnt a meany. he's actually a 'gentlemen' as he calls him self. WHATEVER. oh and isaac- you smell funny.

Oct 4, 2007

this post is not because im addicted to blogging or anything.
just informing all those people that read my blog that this is gonna be the last post FOR NOW. i have to study study for end of year exams. like other people, im on a hiatus on blogging. no the computer. yes, from today i will not touch the laptop. well, i'll try. even if i use the laptop i wont go online or post. maybe just read the updates of ganbare and red string and then off the com lor. today was ok and our art project looks retarded cause we made it in half an hour. a bear without ears. looks like a ghost bear. yup. i got to go now i have clarinet.
LAST POST FOR NOW.
YUP. (:(:
byebye.

Oct 3, 2007

me and a3 made a deal that on mon, wed and fri i can post. tue, thurs and sat i can mess with html. so i better post long entries now.
suddenly im so motivated to study- im even taking this sa2 as PSLE. well, to train me up. im reading those stupid lame chinese books and all. my chinese and science sucks. i need to improve by 20 more marks to get into the school i want. im so scared. i need 240 pts. that means 80 marks for all subjects. english is ok, maths is hmm..ok also. but chinese and science??!? nuff said. today was a very weird day. in recess, jiayo go call jaime lao po and wanted to put his arm round her. of course i would feel a bit hurt, but not that much. but still.
ok fine it was kinda hurting. hmm, i suspect jiayo like jaime. that JJ couple. im not mad or anything..just feeling that all my effort was all wasted when i like jiayo? yeah. in class i quit JACEL. and by a sms im back in again. strange. after school i was walking like all over the place with puna and then i saw samuel and nicholas and then nicholas go push sam to where i was and sam waved and said 'HELLlllllloooooo!' and i raised my eyebrows. then later to play play i just said and wave 'bye BYeeee....' then later suddenly sam go to nicholas there and like fight with him. those pair of weirdos. then after that i was walking pass a corner then i saw nick and darlie guy fighting. and i just had to shout. 'NICHOLAS SOOO WEAKKKK!!!!' yeah! it wasss sooooo funny! obviously nick didnt give a damn and kept fighting. elycia noticed me and she was laughing and laughing. thats all. now i have to go and make lunch and wash up then write chinese compo then do science test and homework. oh well.
i guess my effort would pay off.
it would.
i know i said i would never fall in love again. thats true. but not really at the 'never' part. i mean if i really meet that goofy, romantic, lame, sensitive, thoughtful, loyal guy i would la. OBVIOUSLY. but no its time to concentrate on exams and stupid orals that make no sense at all.
oh i just have to ask.
is hello the new 'cool' word?

later..
ok. your reading a girl's post. that girl who told her mother she wants tuition for science and chinese.
well, next year.
well, i told you im very determine.
but i didnt know determine could become 'siao' determine.
but anyway now i have to work even harder. i have to get 245 pts. its either that or quit scrabble and join GUZHENG. NO WAY. no way no way.
i rather fry my brain off studying than join guzheng.
seriously.
just finished writing a chinese compo. sian.
but actually, im enjoying this studying. fun fun.

Oct 1, 2007

i have nothing much to write about.
its because this post is for the archive October 2007! D: ok lame right...ANYWAY, ya its just for that.

I wonder if i take you home
Would you still be in love baby?

i'm in love with the potential breakup song..if not for clara to put the song in her Sbox, i would never have heard it man...oh well, its nice.

It took too long
It took too long
It took too long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
Except for the fact it was my Birthday
My stupid Birthday