mannnda (:

Aug 15, 2007

confused.

im confused by everything.
especially love.
today after school nicholas walked passed me.
and said.
hi amanda.
i guess i did the right thing. i walked straight passed him. he was kinda shocked, thinking that i would scream and yell U IDIOT at him. well, today i gave him smth.
i tore out the pages of the junior post.
the pages where i was 'happy'. the pages when i was smsing him all day and night.
i wanted to show him that i was happy. now i'm not. i was happy cause he made me happy. but it was all fake. it was all lies. i gave all the pages to him. i gave him the love page, i gave him that note where my friends wrote that i loved him, i gave him the page where i was hurt by him asking jaime for a fake date.
i gave it all away.

well he thought it was all junk and wrappers so he just threw it away. that really made me angry. that really made me turn into stone. that really made me..
sad?
well, its all a clean break. no more fake memories to remember, its all thrown into the stinky rubbish bin now. no more love in the air.
no more nicholas yeo.
forever.
and ever and ever.
goodbye.

later..
jie talked to me on msn.
i feel much better now.
but nope, the wound is not healing, but slowly it will.
i cried and cried and cried.
ok. so she said not to put everything personal onto my blog or people will go WTF ( what the funny). so yup.